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[Aug. 15th, 2005|08:09 pm] |
Hello, and welcome back to the Padjai show.
When last we were together, we had caught up on four months of his life, 3 1/2 of which was done in the first paragraph!
Ok, so I’ve gotten a chance finally to process what happened last week a little more, so here goes:
Monday morning, we (me and the various persons I was giving a ride to) arrived at the Temple and headed to the back yard to help set up for the baths. Quickly realized that a number of parts of the two tents were missing, but eventually Kai-Imaku Sesha found them and the tents got up and everything and everyone was situated.
The first bath of the Sekhmet 7 Arrows Healing Baths belongs to…
Yup, Sekhmet!
Called the universal solvent, that is exactly what Her bath does. Dissolves and washes away almost anything you are carrying inside of you or on your shoulders, etc. No one usually associates Sekhmet with heat, for good reasons, mind you. However, from now on, I will always remember that un-earthly cold that radiated from Her and into my bones. She was so cold, in fact, that my whole body was shivering for nearly five minutes afterwards. She was that cold. Afterwards, I asked my brother Senset about this afterwards (as he is also Her son), and he made it so simply obvious that I felt like a complete moron! Let’s see if I can sum up what he said without butchering it too much.
Salhmet is heat. When She gives you something, you get part of Her heat as well. When She takes something away from you, She removes part of your own heat. If you remove heat from something, it … is … cold.
Or something like that. Anyways, as soon as She actually touched me, the cold shot through my body, and of course, since it was so old, I started having trouble breathing. I heard her saying to me a number of times “Keep Breathing”, and I remember in my mind thinking (very briefly) “No shit, do you think I’m just going to stop?” Of course, felt really embarrassed right after that, and I think that caused me to miss a breath, so yeah, oddness.
We moved around for Serqet’s bath, so the trauma persons wouldn’t splash on others. Serqet’s bath has two forms, one that helps to remove the pains of past trauma (physical, mental, emotional, etc.), and the other adds protections of various types. I originally was going to get the second type, but another thing that Sekhmet said caused me to get the first. (Ok, so actually what she said was something to the affect of “This one needs the stronger bath”.)
Now at the time, I had no idea why. Yes, I have had trauma in my life, and I have physical problems to prove it, but nothing that I feel I would need specific help in. Then it hit me, the trauma could be self-induced, not just from outside. I have had a large amount of emotional trauma that I have heaped on myself over the years (and the fact that I am willing to say this shows that I have changed a lot, I guarantee). Immediately I start crying, which for some reason, causes me to start laughing. So there I am, crying and laughing at the same time, still quite cold from Sekhmet, and all of this combined causes yet again problems breathing.
The moment Serqet shows up, my breathing issues go away and have yet to return. Now I find out later that Serqet literally translates to mean “breath” (If I remember correctly), so this is a rather odd situation. Serqet does the “weaker” of Her baths first, and then the “stronger”. No I end up being first in line for that bath, partially because I still remember Sekhmet’s chiding for hiding a few days earlier.
As soon as the mixture touches my head, I start bawling. Not only that, but I grab Her and hold on as I just bawl my eyes out. No, this is so totally unlike me. First of all, I don’t cry very often. No, it’s not some macho thing, I just usually don’t feel any better after crying, or while crying, so there is really no purpose. Second, I am almost never first, I wait and see what others do before I do something, partially to see what is “acceptable/normal”. Third, I especially am not going to do something like grab onto a goddess an cry onto Her chest without so much as a “by-your-leave”. And yet I did.
Next was Heru-ur’s bath. Good old Dad.
So, as someone told me afterwards, I am always going to remember my Dad. Not only did He pass the booze around (after complaining that it was too warm) to all of us to take part in, and Not only did He set the bath on fire (after complaining that it was too cold), and not only did He have “Power in His pants” (you’ll have to ask about this one), but He made sure to remind His three kids who were there that we indeed do belong to Him.
Unfortunatly, I was the first of the three of us. So I’m sitting there, waiting to be washed, giggling silently at the commotions going on behind and to my right as others are being cleansed and empowered, when I realize He is behind me. I sit still, head back, waiting for the bath, and then I get it.
Boy do I get it!
Not on my head, not down the back, not even in the chest. No, I get it in the face. In my open mouth. Up my nose. Wow does that burn! I was gagging and choking for a moment while everyone else was laughing (yes, I did take names, and turn about will be very, very sweet). After I was under some manner of control of myself, He announced to everyone that He did that to remind me that I have power “here” as He tapped me in the mouth with His hand, and then reminded me to remember that and start using it. Of course, I am still not really sure what that means. I have a few ideas, but whenever I try and seriously think about it, it seems too much like a power trip and one of those “I’m great because the gods told me so” things.
He also gave liberal amounts of “special” care to Senset and Hemet (even though She wasn’t really there at the time), flirted with married women, led the priests on a merry chase, and gave Gemyt special attention (again, you’re gonna have to ask).
Next up was Hethert, and I couldn’t stop smiling afterwards. I really did feel intense joy and kindness from Her, and I had to battle with a few stray thoughts of whether I actually deserved such attention and care (a few escaped Serqet, apparently).
After Hethert came Wesir’s bath. I was specially employed to make sure that no one picked any of the nightshade, as part of the bath is to add a leaf of a plant. Something silly about Hemet not wanting anyone to die or become sick, or some silly thing like that. I actually ended up being the first to be bathed with the bath, which caught me totally be surprise, as I was one of the last to add my leaf, and I was in the middle of the row…
Next was Aset’s bath, and She came to mix it and great Her children (even the reluctant ones) and then left. Aset’s bath is very rich, and expensive, and rich, and costly, and did I mention rich? It included Goldschläger, which once again got passed around. This of course immediately allowed everyone there to know who knew how to drink and those who didn’t. If you know how drinking goldschlager would do that, then you fit into the first group. If you don’t, ask Qait or Tem.
Finally came Amun’s bath, which was another unusual bath, as it included not only the herbal bath, but also a bath of Champaign. Yes, you guessed it, pass that bottle around again!
All in all, it was a very unusual experience, and more intense and life changing than everything else in my life put together. That afternoon I took Qait back to the airport and went back to my mom’s house, after saying good bye to most everyone at Tawy.
Tuesday I got to go visit with my grandma, whom I don’t get to see very much. Part of that included helping her out with some physical tasks around her apartment, as well as talking with her and catching up with her on life and other random stuff. Now, I had not talked with her about Kemetic Orthodoxy yet, as I was really unsure how she would take it (being wife to a Baptist pastor, mother to two Baptist pastors (including my own mother), and mother-in-law to a fourth). I did now, however, that she knew the main reason I was in Chicago was to go to a retreat of some kind, so I knew the conversation would eventually come up. I was determined to not hide from it though.
After the initial “Well, no, actually it is…” followed by about five minutes of silence, the conversation went fairly well, although I can tell she is not sure about it and me being in it. Well, at least she hasn’t disowned me yet!
Thursday I flew into New Mexico, and drove up through “Indian country” with my dad. We spent some good time at a few museums and such, and then Friday spent the entire day at Mesa Verde National Park. We spent some good time exploring the pueblo ruins, and talking with a number of rangers there about job opportunities and such other general stuff.
Saturday, we arrived at Philmont!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, it feels so good to be back here at the edge of the mountains. I missed so many of the people that I had lived with for two summers, and the places and the feel of the area…yeah, I love it here.
Tonight is Monday night, and now I am all caught up again!
Tune in next week to the Padjai show when we explore the truth behind why he loves pink, and answer the burning question of what really is behind door number three. |
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